Monday, September 12, 2005
â 9:43 PM
since i left jc i havent really taken the effort to write or speak proper english.i still remember the good old school days when i wrote stories in order to improve my english.i love writing very mcuh.sometimes it's hard for me to express wat i need to say in speaking words.i find solace in the words that i write.i may not be sheakspeare or rowling but my words keep me safe.i find sanctuary in books.it's true.my favourite places to visit are the library and the bookstores.there i'm surrounded by countless great authors.many not given the credit they duely deserve.
sometimes when i feel upset about something i usually write out my feelings because i know by doing that i find closure.i come to an acceptance as to why things are the way they are.my mum always tells me that as humans we can merely plan and god will decide.i guess when i'm angry with someone or upset about something i write them out instead of confronting the thing that upsets me.why?simply because i know that once u say something even when u dont mean it u cannot take it back.my mum always reminds me that no matter what happens never hurt another person's heart because when the time comes the retribution from god will be unforgiving.so when i get angry or upset i choose to walk away because i refuse to stand there and say something that i know i will regret.
true some people may say it's cowardice that leads me to do this.but i believe it takes greater courage to walk away from something that will only cause another person pain.
sigh...feeling so depressed right now...and in the middle of exams some more...not good...imaging paper was crap cos firstly i didnt finish and secondly i got a few of my terms all mixed up...stupid little girl...sigh...when i was preparing for this paper told myself that this was the one paper i actually could get A for...but sadly as usual sab has to get distracted by stupid things like tv and god knows what also...you know when my dad tells me off for slacking i trully deserve it u know...i mean no diploma how to get degree...no degree how to go med school...i mean i wouldnt want to be a mediocre doctor(that is if i ever be one)...then everything i studied for on sat and sunday i had to forget...classic man...classic man...well let bygones just be bygones...starting too really hate myself